2004-01-05, 6:13 p.m.
I went to sleep last night with alternating chills and sweats. This morning, I canceled all my appointments for the day (except for one) and went out to Trader Joe's to pick up some Airborne, chicken, ginger, and OJ. I made a big pot of chao (rice porridge) and loaded up on vitamin c and took a bunch of naps in between. I need to be better by tomorrow morning, as I have my second interview for a job I'd really like and my grandpa's funeral in the afternoon/evening. I can't afford to be sick tomorrow.
I'm sitting next to J on the couch of my new apartment, both of us surfing on our wireless laptops. He ran out earlier to get me some ice cream and cold meds. What's not to love?
The sun is a definite mood enhancer. I have an interview this afternoon that I kind of don't want to go to, but it is good practice. I have been drinking a lot of champagne lately.
It has been a long day. I spent four hours waiting in a hospital (I HATE the way they smell), and I had to tell my aunt that her cancer will ultimately kill her. Should I have told her? I suppose that is a judgement call, since her five sisters decided to shield the truth from her. I believe that she is an adult and deserves to know the truth, which is: her ovarian cancer is slowly spreading to her lungs and diaphragm. Surgery didn't work, chemo isn't really working, and all the doctors can really do is try to stunt its growth (through chemo and radiation therapy) and keep her comfortable. It is no fun to tell someone they will die, but she has the right to know. I may hear otherwise from some adults later...
I had to leave for an appointment in Palo Alto, but my mom is still at the hospital with my aunt...she's getting a blood transfusion which will hopefully make her strong enough for chemo next week. I'm at my parents' house on dial-up waiting for traffic to subside before I return home. Between this crap, interviewing, and my grandpa's three-day-long funeral, it promises to be a fun-filled week.
Things are picking up:- I've got an interview tomorrow and another one on Tuesday
- DSL is here! I haven't hooked up the wireless yet, but will do that after I work out.
- Still need to call Dell to fix my fricken notebook. I've already given them two chances! This time, it is WAR.
- Thank you, Ed M. You put a smile in my day.
With this second (unplanned) bout of unemployment, I'm tightening the belt a little more and really watching where my money goes. This time, I don't really have a backup, except my parents. But that is a definite last resort. I'm still really enjoying waking up when I feel like it, but I definitely don't get to go out as much (or I feel guilty spending any money). Being the child of a cheap refugee mom has made pinching pennies a little easier. I know all the tricks (oops! forgot to steal toothpaste from my mom's when I was down there earlier), and I also know that when it comes down to it, I'll never starve. Plenty of people survive on less than what I have now. I'm leaving a balance on my credit card this month for the first time ever. I'm just being cautious and preparing for the worst. I have a phone interview tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully things won't get that bad.
Part of this budget-consciousness includes not eating out as much, but I'm definitely cooking up a storm at home. I love the kitchen in my new apartment and any doubts that I have about my decision to sign a lease without a job are negated when I'm chopping and baking. Today, I made homemade banana bread with walnuts and chocolate chips and a big pot of seafood gumbo. Last week, Scott and I made two quiches and a sour cream-based choco chip bundt cake, while Julie and Derek put together a book shelf for me. Next week, I'll probably make some kind of curry...I really like eating soupy things over rice.
My Grandpa's funeral is next Saturday. Although not the best reason for a gathering, I'm excited to see my entire family--it is very rare these days that we are ALL together in the same room. I hope it doesn't rain. In sadder news, my Grandma seems more alert these days, which means she's aware of her situation: trapped in her own body, sentenced by her children. Her biggest fear in life was to be a burden to anyone.
My flight to Taiwan is confirmed. I'm a little wary about this Taiwan thing now that I'm getting calls from potential employers...what to do, what to do. Play it by ear. Things will work out, they always do. And if it comes down to it, I am no stranger to last-minute decisions. DSL arrives tomorrow.
Grandpa died earlier this evening. He had a long run--about 97 years (nobody knows his actual DOB). Not sure when services are yet, but undoubtedly, the weekend will be flooded with family. It is almost the new year. Banh chung (new years cakes) have arrived.
I am squishy. I have 9 mosquito bites around my waist. I didn't know mosquitos lived in the winter.
The new year has been good to me so far, but today was a bit of a downer...I woke up and almost fell asleep in traffic to take my aunt to chemo...only her white blood cells are too low and they're reevaluating things. Translating medical jargon into Vietnamese can be difficult, but my language skills remain surprisingly good. She's watching Amelie on the DVD player while I plug away at job apps on the slow as molasses dialup here at my parents' house. I have a two week paid/vacation gig in Taiwan at the end of the month. Too good to be true, there's gotta be a catch.
My grandpa is dying. If I seem a bit callous, it is because I came to terms with it years ago. What I can't deal with is all this family drama crap. Between the whispering and the yelling, I'm about to go postal.
I'm bummed about a bottle of wine. I'm really stupid.
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