2002-02-15, 1:39 p.m.
grrrr. i'm cranky. i don't know how such seemingly simple things can sometimes snowball into such pains in the ass. thank god the hurricane leaves today and hopefully won't be back until may. i've had enough of that.
yesterday, i realized the severity of my staring problem. you see, i really like to observe people. that's also probably why i read online journals and was a psych/soc major. people fascinate me. i don't necessarily want to talk to them--just observe. when i travel, i can stare all i want because all these people are staring right back at my asian american ass anyway (konichiwa!). unfortunately, in america, its not ok for people to stare at each other. however, i often forget that people can see me staring at them (that's why i love sunglasses).
i got yelled at by a mcdonald's employee for staring when i was 4. i was sitting in one of the booths with my dad and brother eating my filet-o-fish in the blue styrofoam box watching one of the employees mop up a spilled milkshake. all of a sudden, she started yelling at my dad, "does your FUCKING daughter have a GODDAMN staring problem or something??" my dad just quietly told me to stop looking at the lady. so i spent the rest of my meal staring at the blue styrofoam box. boooring.
in college, i used to just sit on campus with a pair of sunglasses and my headphones on at full blast--watching people go by. i'm not really interested in what people are saying, i just like to stand back and watch. i'd just sit on the steps of sproul and people watch, killing time in between classes with my girls.
yesterday, i was waiting around at the gym, and someone was in my line of sight, so i just starting staring at them and totally zoned out. i forgot that they could see me staring at them...until they said, "WHAT'S UP!"...i think that happens to me a lot. i just stare at people until they say hello to me. oops. i wish it were ok to stare. but i guess it unnerves most people.
oh yeah, oftentimes, my staring gets me into trouble in other ways. at a club, i'll be looking around the room and accidentally make eye contact with some guy. he thinks i'm checkin him out so he comes up and spouts some cheesy line. fucking hell. sometimes they're really hard to get rid of, too. and that's when my friends make fun of my staring problem the most.
